I am frequently asked by parents, “How should I get my child’s school involved in the treatment of anxiety?” This is a great question, because children exist in the context of their families and their primary job is to learn at school. Helping anxious children develop the skills necessary to feel better requires bringing together the resources of parents, school personnel, pediatricians, coaches, and any mental health professionals that are involved. Working as a team is the most effective way to help the child manage their anxiety across settings.

How do I (the parent) decide if the school needs to know about my child’s anxiety?

The answer to this question is complex, and this is an area where it is helpful to have a therapist to talk to. Your child’s experience of and reaction to anxiety is unique, and many factors need to be considered in making this decision. Some questions to ask yourself are: 1) Does your child’s anxiety impact his or her ability to learn or function socially at school? 2) Would accommodations help to alleviate the child’s symptoms during the school day or in the evening at home?, and 3) Is your child’s school able/willing to provide the necessary accommodations?

Let’s consider the first question. Symptoms of anxiety can include physical discomfort (such as rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, shakiness, and accelerated thinking), intrusive thoughts, and somatic complaints (stomachaches, headaches, etc). When a child experiences these symptoms, they can become overwhelmed and lose their ability to pay attention and perform in school. If you are unsure how much anxiety is impacting your child at school, it might be helpful to start by learning more about your child’s anxiety symptoms. I often ask parents and the child with anxiety to keep a log at the beginning of treatment as a means of gathering important details about their anxiety that we will need in order to treat it effectively. If the parent and child take a few minutes each day to record the situations or symptoms that occurred during the day, they will have a comprehensive list of triggering situations and the anxiety symptoms that follow. Reviewing the number of triggers and the extent of the symptoms should help to answer whether or not your child is being impacted at school.

The second and third questions refer to accommodations school’s can make to address the symptoms a child is experiencing during the school day. In the public school system, parents can contact their special education department. Children with physical or emotional disabilities that restrict or disrupt their daily life activities may be eligible for a” 504 plan” (Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973). This is a legal agreement between parents and their school district which ensures that agreed upon accommodations are in place for the child throughout their academic program. A multidisciplinary team at school will work with parents to determine eligibility and the types of modifications or accommodations that will allow the child to be successful at school. In my experience, some private and parochial schools will also accept the terms of a 504 plan regardless of whether or not they are legally bound to do so. For more information about 504 plans, you may contact your town or district’s special education services office or visit wrightslaw.com.

In my experience, accommodations such as preferential seating, changes in the format or quantity of class/homework, changes to the presentation method of academic material, as well as organization and handwriting support can have a positive impact. Once you decide accommodations are necessary, where should you start? A discussion with your child’s teacher may be the best way to begin the process.

How to talk to the school?
If your child struggles with anxiety at school, the first step is to engage your child’s teacher in a positive relationship at the beginning of the year. It is important to introduce yourself, identify your concerns about how your child’s symptoms may impact his/her ability to actively engage in the classroom, and ask what the teacher has done in the past to accommodate similar students. Listening to the teachers’ response will give you an indication of how much experience they have had with anxious students, and how willing they are to make accommodations. While all teachers are unique and bring to their classroom their own personal style, most recognize the need to address children’s emotional needs and are willing to make adjustments for them.

At some point, all parents experience feelings of frustration and sadness as they watch their anxious child struggle at school. Despite this, it is critical to not allow those feelings to alter your relationship with your child’s teacher or school administration. By keeping communication open and frequent, and by keeping all comments and requests specific, your child’s needs as a student will be addressed. It is always in the best interest of the student for the adults involved in their care to maintain a positive working relationship, and for there to be no disruption in their communication.

If a parent has tried to establish the relationship with the teacher I have described above and feels they have been unsuccessful, or that their child needs greater support, the next step is to approach the school’s counselor or guidance department. Their role is to support students’ emotional health, and they usually consult with the teachers as well. Many anxious children report feeling relief that they have a person at school they can check in with, and get ideas about how to manage their feelings or handle difficult situations that arise during the day. School counselors are also able to observe children throughout the day and provide feedback to parents about what they observe.

If interventions at the teacher and counselor level are still not enough, it is time to request a meeting with all relevant school officials to determine if a 504 plan (or perhaps an IEP) are necessary.

What to ask for accommodations
The following link, http://www.worrywisekids.org/schools/sample_accomodations.html, provides a comprehensive list of accommodations that can be requested to support anxious children at school. It is often worthwhile to consult with either an educational advocate or a therapist that treats children with anxiety before requesting specific accommodations to ensure the correct ones for your child are selected.

As parents you play a critical role as advocate for your child! It can be a demanding job, but the resolution of your child’s anxiety at school depends on your ability to be proactive, consistent, and well versed on both the symptoms your child is experiencing at school, and the options he/she has to resolve them.