Search Results

There are times in life when our bodies and minds tell us that we need to take a break. For me, this is one of those times. A Tough Year A year ago, I had my third bout of COVID. That lead to long COVID and a year-long wave of symptoms. While I've had some very hard times in the nine years I've been benzo-free, things had always improved year after year. This year was different. Long COVID seemed to make everything worse. Brand new symptoms I'd never had before found their way onto my playlist, along with the return of some old symptoms with new found severity. When I first mentioned this on the podcast, I received several responses of similar experiences from my listeners, and I soon realized I wasn't alone. I spent the first half of the year trying to find answers — as we so often do — including several medical tests and procedures. I found a few factors, but couldn't identify the a recognized cause. My best guess is a combination of psychological stress, long COVID, and of course, BIND. Then, on Thanksgiving Day, I hit my limit. Our house was full of my wife's family — nine people, three dogs, and too much food. The hours of chaos was more than I could handle, and I had a mini melt down. I isolated myself for much of the remaining weekend trying to recover. Something had to change. Time for Self Care I'm taking a hiatus. I wish I could say this is the first time I've done this, but it's not. If you've been a listener to my podcast for any length of time, you may remember that I've taken a break from it a few times before. I guess you could call it a pattern. Like so many of us, I have a tendency to push myself until I start to break. That was the case again on Thanksgiving day. So, here's the thing: I'm taking a break for the next six weeks. I'll still attend essential meetings for my research teams and the Benzodiazepine Action Work Group (BAWG) —but everything else, especially the work we've done building up the infrastructure here at Easing Anxiety, is on hold for a while. For the month of December, I'm going to focus on my health and spending time with my family. This will be followed by a two week road trip (part work / part vacation) in January that was already on my calendar. The truth is, I'm not good for anyone else, if I don't take care of myself first. Many of you have told me that recently, and I thank you for the constant reminders. And one of the reasons I'm sharing this with you now is just in case someone else needs that gentle nudge to step back a bit, and give yourself the gift of self-care for the holidays. Remember — It's My Story, Not Yours I realize that this message may be triggering for some of you. Whenever I share a difficulty with my journey through BIND, I receive some critical feedback. As I've mentioned many times before, it is a tenuous path we take deciding when to share and when not to share, especially when things are tough. But, I always fall back on honesty and transparency. If I don't share the truth about the bad times in this experience, why should you trust me about the good times. There are so many factors that feed into the severity and duration of a person's experience with BIND. The fact that I'm still struggling at nine years out already puts my in a very small minority of individuals going through benzo withdrawal. I'm an extreme case. I also updosed during withdrawal, took a fluoroquinolone, had three bouts of COVID, have moderate to severe ADHD, have dealt with chronic gastric distress since childhood, recently discovered I have low vitamin D and low testosterone, and several other factors that add to my story. Remember, it's never just about the benzos. The odds are in your favor. Your journey will most likely be easier than mine. Closing So, take care for the next six weeks. If I feel up to it I may still put out a blog post, but I can't make any promises. Doryn may also post during the holidays, so keep your eyes peeled for that. Thank you all so very much for your kind patience. We all go through difficult times, even setbacks in our lives — it's just my turn. I'll be back soon. Take care and Happy Holidays, D :) For Informational Purposes Only All information presented on Easing Anxiety is for informational purposes only, and should never be considered medical or health advice. Withdrawal, tapering, or any change in dosage of benzodiazepines or any other prescription drugs should only be done under the direct supervision of a licensed physician. This article was written by a living, breathing human. Please read our site disclaimer for more information.

A benzo peer support training class can be quite educational — especially for the instructor. In early November, I had the pleasure of teaching a sold-out course to individuals with a wide mix of backgrounds. It was quite illuminating. In today’s episode, I share some insights from teaching peer support training. I also discuss my response to some constructive criticism, look at our focus here at Easing Anxiety, and wish everyone a very happy holiday season. Video ID: BFP129 Listen on YouTube... The Benzo Free Podcast is also available on... Apple Podcasts / Audible / iHeart / PodBean / Spotify / Stitcher Chapters 00:00 INTRODUCTION 00:16 Thanksgiving & Family 03:11 Feedback Form Fixed 04:18 Constructive Criticism 06:33 Our Direction / Indecision 07:22 Anxiety Management & BIND 10:43 Our Focus on Mental Health 13:52 Connecting with You 15:55 Not Medical Advice 16:33 How Ya Doin’? 19:48 FEATURE 21:28 About the Course 24:52 Benzos & Recovery (SUD) 30:06 Learning from Recovery (SUD) 31:20 Interaction & Discussion 33:08 Teaching BIND 36:10 Boundaries 37:16 Patient Boundaries 39:43 Caregiver Boundaries 41:31 Categories of Symptoms 48:37 Benzos and Alcohol 52:21 Active Benzo Community 54:25 You Got This! 56:02 CLOSING References Feedback — What Do You Want to See at Easing Anxiety? — https://easinganxiety.com/feedback Resources — Benzo Peer Training — https://benzopeertraining.org — BIND Symptoms (14 Categories) — https://easinganxiety.com/symptoms The Podcast The Benzo Free Podcast provides information, support, and community to those who struggle with the long-term effects of anxiety medications such as benzodiazepines (Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin, Valium) and Z-drugs (Ambien, Lunesta, Sonata). WEBSITE: https://www.easinganxiety.com MAILING LIST: https://www.easinganxiety.com/subscribe YOUTUBE: https://youtube.com/@easinganx DISCLAIMER All content provided by Easing Anxiety is for general informational purposes only and should never be considered medical advice. Any health-related information provided is not a substitute for medical advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat health problems, or to prescribe any medical devices or other remedies. Never disregard medical advice or delay in seeking it. Please visit our website for our complete disclaimer at https://www.easinganxiety.com/disclaimer. CREDITS Music provided / licensed by Storyblocks Audio — https://www.storyblocks.com Benzo Free Theme — Title: “Walk in the Park” — Artist: Neil Cross PRODUCTION Easing Anxiety is produced by… Denim Mountain Press https://www.denimmountainpress.com ©2023 Denim Mountain Press – All Rights Reserved

When we are tapering off of benzodiazepines, we never really think of “what then?” What do we expect life to be like when the last of these medications are out of our system and we are living our new reality? I can’t tell you how many times I have read on benzodiazepine support groups or heard in conversations, “I just want to get back to normal.” My questions to all of us are: “What is normal?” “Why did we go onto benzodiazepines in the first place?” “What do we expect will have changed now that we are off of benzodiazepines?” In the process of tapering and dealing with withdrawal and, for many, the effects of benzodiazepine-induced neurological dysfunction (BIND), we fantasize about anything being better than this reality. I, for one, can forget that I was prescribed clonazepam (Klonopin) because I was suffering from the chronic pain of fibromyalgia. Many others were prescribed a benzodiazepine for anxiety or insomnia. Frankly, my normal was nothing I want to relive, and we often don’t think about what our new reality will be. The Next Phase of Healing Of course, for some, the anti-anxiety medications may have served a purpose in getting the person to a better place during a situation-specific experience. For others, therapy or other support has come during the benzodiazepine tapering and withdrawal process. The person is really better and relieved, on the other side of that process. But I maintain that for many of us, we just want the challenges of tapering, withdrawal, and BIND to resolve, and don’t feel prepared to address the next phase of healing. In a previous blog post, Owning Anxiety, I wrote about the unexpected irritability and sensitivity that remains after two years off of Klonopin. I was just so grateful to have survived the getting off of and through, that I never thought about, "now what?" I now recognize that I have work to do and I am doing that work now. How to Stop Feeling Anxiety about Anxiety Working with Easing Anxiety is another way that I am dealing with my new normal. I am exploring the meaning of anxiety and pain, learning strategies that work for others, and trying out the tools and skills to help me day-to-day. It is a work in progress, and not a walk in the park. I have also come away with a greater appreciation for the meaning and importance of anxiety. My challenge is working on — not being anxious about — being anxious. You don't get rid of [anxiety] by trying to get rid of it. — Tim Box, How to stop feeling anxiety about anxiety In his YouTube video, How to stop feeling anxiety about anxiety, Tim Box reminds us that anxiety tells us when something needs our attention. It is the internal voice of concern. I had to laugh when he said that there are two kinds of people who don’t feel anxiety: dead people and psychopaths. I was happy not to be a member of either of those two groups! I feel great relief when I hear from him and others that anxiety is an emotion with a purpose. It is a natural and vital part of our human experience. But, it leaves me with one essential question: How do I understand it for the important part of me that it is, and reduce its negative effects? Tim Box was able to reduce his experience of anxiety using three strategies: Refuse to believe that you are ill. That is, decide not to feel anxious about being anxious (of course, easier said than done!). Work on understanding what anxiety is trying to tell you. Always be kind to your anxiety and anxious feelings, “If you beat yourself up, you just end up beaten.” Again, while it is easier said than done, he suggests that we treat anxiety as a trusted friend. This is an important reframing of our experience, one that we continue to have even when the medications are well out of our system. Easing Anxiety Meaning making, reframing, and new strategies – this is what Easing Anxiety is all about. What D and I are working on with the Easing Anxiety community, is to answer the question, “After benzos, then what?” Lots of questions have been posed in this blog post, please let us know if you have answers for yourselves, or other questions you'd like us to answer. References Box, Tim. How to stop feeling anxiety about anxiety. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZidGozDhOjg. Chervin, Doryn. Owning Anxiety. Easing Anxiety. October 12, 2023. For Informational Purposes Only All information presented on Easing Anxiety is for informational purposes only, and should never be considered medical or health advice. Withdrawal, tapering, or any change in dosage of benzodiazepines or any other prescription drugs should only be done under the direct supervision of a licensed physician. This article was written by a living, breathing human. Please read our site disclaimer for more information.

Meet Dr. Doryn Chervin. Hear her benzo story. Her background in public health. Her take on benzos, BIND, setbacks, research, doctors, healing, the benzo community, and what has been going on behind the scenes at Easing Anxiety. Doryn Chervin holds a doctorate in public health and spent 40 years as a public health program strategist and evaluator. She is also on the board at the Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices. Doryn took clonazepam for over 25 years, is now benzo-free, and works tirelessly helping those still struggling with dependence and BIND. Video ID: BFP128 Listen on YouTube... The Benzo Free Podcast is also available on... Apple Podcasts / Audible / iHeart / PodBean / Spotify / Stitcher Chapters 00:00 INTRODUCTION 02:10 Welcome Doryn 02:38 Doryn’s Background 04:38 Suicide Prevention Leadership 06:15 Doryn’s Benzo Story 09:13 It’s Really Possible to Heal 09:42 How Are You Feeling Now? 11:01 BIND Setbacks 12:38 Journey to Learn / FDA 13:33 Doryn and the Alliance 14:57 FDA / Kaiser Research Study 17:43 Working Together at EA 19:38 Partnering with the Community 21:42 Anxiety and Instability 22:59 There’s No One Way 25:32 Murphy Says Hi 26:28 Upcoming Podcast on EA Plan 27:10 Financial Sustainability 30:53 Getting to Know Doryn 31:55 Content & Services 34:56 An Information Resource 35:55 A Strong Research Background 39:26 The Human Connection 43:03 We Want to Hear from You 46:57 Sub Group Peer Support 49:21 Live / In-Person Events 51:00 Falling Asleep to the Podcast 52:04 Burnout in Benzo Community 54:02 EA Updates / Next Podcast 55:25 Doryn’s Struggle with Anxiety 57:04 CLOSING References Feedback What Do You Want to See at Easing Anxiety? — https://easinganxiety.com/feedback Resources Doryn’s Introductory Blog Post — https://www.easinganxiety.com/post/introducing-dr-doryn-chervin The Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices — https://benzoreform.org The National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention — https://theactionalliance.org FDA 2020 Boxed Warning on Benzodiazepines https://www.easinganxiety.com/post/new-fda-warning-on-benzodiazepines-what-does-it-really-mean The Ashton Manual — https://easinganxiety.com/ashton BOOK: Benzo Free: The World of Anti-Anxiety Drugs and the Reality of Withdrawal — https://easinganxiety.com/book Benzodiazepine Action Work Group — https://benzoaction.org A Peacock Consulting (Angela Peacock) — https://apeacockconsulting.com The Podcast The Benzo Free Podcast provides information, support, and community to those who struggle with the long-term effects of anxiety medications such as benzodiazepines (Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin, Valium) and Z-drugs (Ambien, Lunesta, Sonata). WEBSITE: https://www.easinganxiety.com MAILING LIST: https://www.easinganxiety.com/subscribe YOUTUBE: https://youtube.com/@easinganx DISCLAIMER All content provided by Easing Anxiety is for general informational purposes only and should never be considered medical advice. Any health-related information provided is not a substitute for medical advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat health problems, or to prescribe any medical devices or other remedies. Never disregard medical advice or delay in seeking it. Please visit our website for our complete disclaimer at https://www.easinganxiety.com/disclaimer. CREDITS Music provided / licensed by Storyblocks Audio — https://www.storyblocks.com Benzo Free Theme — Title: “Walk in the Park” — Artist: Neil Cross PRODUCTION Easing Anxiety is produced by… Denim Mountain Press https://www.denimmountainpress.com ©2023 Denim Mountain Press – All Rights Reserved

There are certain events and dates that we always remember: Pearl Harbor, September 11, Sandy Hook, or the Parkland Shootings. What they all have in common is that we never imagined that these events could happen, and when they do they can change our fundamental reality and how we see the world. Recent news has brought this issue to the forefront again: One month ago today, Hamas militants attacked southern Israeli communities, killing more than 1,400 people and taking about 240 hostages. In Gaza, more than 10,000 people have been killed since Israeli airstrikes began, according to the Health Ministry there. — Suzanne Nuyen, Up First Briefing, NPR It doesn’t matter where you stand politically or ideologically on the issues. These are events which can affect us in deep and significant ways. Learning how to process such world events in healthy manner, can help us move forward. Events such as these can initiate a tsunami of feelings, especially when anxiety is no stranger to us. But, some events happen at such a global scale that they become the great equalizer. That is, there are few individuals on this planet who are left unaffected and the need for support and management tools is universal. Collective Trauma: Making sense of catastrophic events When you try to understand the notion of collective trauma or secondary traumatic reaction, there is a flood of information. Collective trauma is a cataclysmic event that shatters the basic fabric of society. Aside from the horrific loss of life, collective trauma is also a crisis of meaning. — Gilad Hirschberger, Collective Trauma and the Social Construction of Meaning, 2018 I Googled this concept and found 42 entries just on page one. They describe the feelings that are engendered including: A sense of helplessness Guilt that you survived or are not directly challenged in your day-to-day life Shame over feelings you cannot control Rage and fear Fear for the future Hopelessness for a solution Seeing increased security in buildings can both allay anxiety and increase concern. Overall, events like these shatter a fundamental sense of security, which can lead to overwhelming emotions. For people of some communities there are compounding effects. For Jewish people, not only is peace and security an issue in Israel, but there are also upticks of anti-Semitism in the United States. And as for Palestinians, in addition to ongoing violence in Gaza, unrest in the states leaves many fearful for their own freedom and safety. On October 11, 2023, the American Psychological Association (APA) released a statement warning that consuming violent and traumatic news can, in and of itself, negatively affect our mental health. Some people are more vulnerable than others to developing an acute stress reaction or even post-traumatic stress disorder with the constant stream of images and stories. People who are in closer proximity to the actual events – obviously, if you’re there or your family’s there or this touches you in some more direct way. But even people who are ripples out from this can develop [deeper issues], particularly people who either have a prior mental health issue, like an anxiety disorder or a mood disorder, and people who have suffered [any kind of] trauma in their past. — Dr Gail Saltz, Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital and Weill Cornell Medical College Catastrophic events are real and distressing — but our resilience to deal with them, enhanced by helpful advice, can steer us through the troubled waters. Here are a few tips that may help: Understand that distress is normal, and shared by many others. There is no wrong or right way to feel. You feel how you feel. Don’t ignore your feelings. Recognize them. You are not alone. Talk about your feelings and connect with others. Stop doomsday scrolling. Limit social media, Only go to credible sources. Give yourself some space from the issues. Reach out to a higher power and use prayer if it is helpful to you. Reestablish daily routines. Take action Do something to help Reach out to support others Donate to causes that help In an opinion piece in USA Today, Douglas Yeung summed it up this way: Trauma is often described as a shattering of one’s assumptions or worldviews. That is, when events collide with our expectations, beliefs or hopes, we are forced to reconsider what is truly possible. This latest war – set in a world still emerging from the COVID-19 pandemic, grappling with social isolation and mental health crises – has provided plenty of traumatizing developments, with the grim promise of more to come. It certainly requires making hard choices and doing the work to forge community bonds that prioritize everyone’s well-being. And much of that work starts with knowing the spillover effects of trauma, and how it affects us all. — Douglas Yeung, USA Today Opinion Let us know if you have dealt with the effects of October 7 and the recent war. We want to hear from you. References APA warns of psychological impacts of violence in Middle East. American Psychological Association (APA). October 11, 2023. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/10/middle-east-violence-statement. Kane, Andrea. How to protect your mental health while keeping tabs on the Israel-Hamas war. CNN Health. October 17, 2023. https://www.cnn.com/2023/10/14/health/mental-health-israel-hamas-wellness/index.html. Hirschberger G. Collective Trauma and the Social Construction of Meaning. Front Psychol. 2018 Aug 10;9:1441. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01441. PMID: 30147669; PMCID: PMC6095989. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6095989/. Moench, Mallory. Where to Seek Help if the Israel-Hamas War Is Impacting Your Mental Health. Time. October 22, 2023. https://time.com/6327064/israel-hamas-war-mental-health-services/. Nuyen, Suzanne. Up First Briefing: 1 month since Hamas attacked Israel; Supreme Court gun control case. NPR/CPR News. November 7, 2023. https://www.npr.org/2023/11/07/1211150085/up-first-briefing-1-month-since-hamas-attacked-israel-supreme-court-gun-control-. Yeung, Douglas. I can't help but follow graphic images from Israel-Hamas war. I should know better. USA Today. November 3, 2023. https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/voices/2023/11/03/israel-hamas-war-images-trauma-mental-health/71334176007/. For Informational Purposes Only All information presented on Easing Anxiety is for informational purposes only, and should never be considered medical or health advice. Withdrawal, tapering, or any change in dosage of benzodiazepines or any other prescription drugs should only be done under the direct supervision of a licensed physician. This article was written by a living, breathing human. Please read our site disclaimer for more information.

It’s 3:00am. Sleep is elusive. Collective thoughts converge on the manic mind. So, why not record a podcast? Join D as he ponders benzos and BIND, fatigue and fear, motivation, meditation, gratitude, and grace. All from the comfort of his own bed. Video ID: BFP127 Listen on YouTube... The Benzo Free Podcast is also available on... Apple Podcasts / Audible / iHeart / PodBean / Spotify / Stitcher Chapters 0:00:00 It’s 3:14 am 0:02:21 Struggling Lately 0:05:30 Podcast Delays 0:07:08 Benzo Peer Training 0:07:51 Overwhelm & Fatigue 0:09:02 New Content Coming… 0:10:35 Coping with Insomnia 0:13:38 Missed Y’all 0:14:34 Ruminations in a Dark Room 0:16:23 Finding Life Balance 0:19:10 Motivation to Change 0:24:00 Discipline As We Heal 0:26:00 Moving Forward 0:28:38 It Does Get Better 0:29:52 Advice for the Younger You? 0:32:54 Being OK with Yourself 0:38:35 Trying to Belong 0:40:14 A Calming Voice 0:42:26 BIND Frustration / Emotion 0:47:40 Talking in the Bathroom 0:48:56 Podcasts & Authenticity 0:51:24 Meditation & Perfectionism 0:53:53 Five Minute Meditation 0:54:38 Yin Yoga & BIND 0:56:19 Changing for the Better 0:58:56 Benefits of Gratitude 1:04:27 Three Gratitudes 1:06:08 Being Grateful for Others 1:13:27 CLOSING The Podcast The Benzo Free Podcast provides information, support, and community to those who struggle with the long-term effects of anxiety medications such as benzodiazepines (Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin, Valium) and Z-drugs (Ambien, Lunesta, Sonata). WEBSITE: https://www.easinganxiety.com MAILING LIST: https://www.easinganxiety.com/subscribe YOUTUBE: https://youtube.com/@easinganx DISCLAIMER All content provided by Easing Anxiety is for general informational purposes only and should never be considered medical advice. Any health-related information provided is not a substitute for medical advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat health problems, or to prescribe any medical devices or other remedies. Never disregard medical advice or delay in seeking it. Please visit our website for our complete disclaimer at https://www.easinganxiety.com/disclaimer. CREDITS Music provided / licensed by Storyblocks Audio — https://www.storyblocks.com Benzo Free Theme — Title: “Walk in the Park” — Artist: Neil Cross PRODUCTION Easing Anxiety is produced by… Denim Mountain Press https://www.denimmountainpress.com ©2023 Denim Mountain Press – All Rights Reserved

Welcome back to the Easing Anxiety blog series, "What We Learned from the Benzo Survey," where we dive deep into the data from the Benzodiazepine Survey of 2018/2019 to learn more about benzos, BIND, and the individuals who have taken these medications. In our first posts in this series, we explored age groups, gender, country, drug type, and warnings. Today in our fifth installment, we look at how many respondents took different medications at the same time and whether or not they took their medications as prescribed by their doctor. Check out the findings below. *** Scroll to the end of this post for details about the survey and research team. *** CONCURRENT MEDICATIONS Most of the survey respondents (83.6%) took more than just a single benzodiazepine and over half (56.2%) took two or more medications at the same time. The most significant pairing was between benzodiazepines and antidepressants. 45% of those who had taken benzodiazepines also took some type of antidepressant. Since SSRIs and SNRIs are commonly prescribed to individuals in benzo withdrawal, this finding may not be surprising. If we look at the benzodiazepine class only, 52.4% (632) of the respondents only took one benzo, 23.0% (278) took two, 14.0% (169) took three, 5.7% (69) took four, and 3.5% (42) took five or more. One respondent even stated that they took 10 different benzodiazepines. Taking multiple psychiatric medications — what is commonly referred to as polydrugging — is not uncommon in mental health treatment and can create a nightmare scenario for individuals dealing with physical dependence and/or addiction (SUD). Question (n=1,207): Did you take different medications concurrently (at the same time) or sequentially (different ones at different times). TAKEN AS PRESCRIBED Over 90% of the respondents took their benzodiazepine mostly as prescribed. Only 8.7% definitely did not. This key finding backs the experience of most professionals in the benzo community. The majority of individuals we work with have taken their medication as prescribed by their doctors — and while substance use disorder (SUD) can happen with benzodiazepines, it is rare. Most complications we've seen have nothing to do with SUD or addiction, but instead are caused by physical dependence, withdrawal, and BIND. Question (n=1,207): Was your benzodiazepine med always taken 'as prescribed,' in the dose recommended by a doctor? References Survey papers are listed below. About the Benzodiazepine Survey About the Research The largest survey of its kind, "The Benzodiazepine Survey of 2018/2019" was created and administered by Jane Macoubrie, PhD and Christy Huff, MD. Over 1,600 individuals took the survey, resulting in 1,207 qualified respondents. The survey constituted 20 questions, including demographic inquires. Some of these questions had multiple sub-questions and/or allowed multiple answers. The survey generated three published research papers in scientific journals (as noted below) between April 25, 2022 and June 29, 2023. The research team is still together working on new benzodiazepine-related research projects. Special thanks to the Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices for sponsoring and organizing this research. Published Papers PAPER 1 — April 25, 2022 Finlayson AJ, Macoubrie J, Huff C, Foster DE, Martin PR. Experiences with benzodiazepine use, tapering, and discontinuation: an Internet survey. Therapeutic Advances in Psychopharmacology. 2022;12. doi:10.1177/20451253221082386. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/20451253221082386. PAPER 2 — February 6, 2023 Huff C, Finlayson AJR, Foster DE, Martin PR. Enduring neurological sequelae of benzodiazepine use: an Internet survey. Therapeutic Advances in Psychopharmacology. 2023;13. doi:10.1177/20451253221145561. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/20451253221145561. PAPER 3 — June 29, 2023 Ritvo AD, Foster DE, Huff C, Finlayson AJR, Silvernail B, Martin PR. (2023) Long-term consequences of benzodiazepine-induced neurological dysfunction: A survey. PLOS ONE 18(6): e0285584. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0285584. Research Team Research Team / Authors (alphabetical) A. J. Reid Finlayson, MD, MMHC — Vanderbilt University Medical Center D E Foster — Benzodiazepine Action Work Group / Easing Anxiety Christy Huff, MD — Benzodiazepine Information Coalition Peter R. Martin, MD, MSc — Vanderbilt University Medical Center Alexis Ritvo, MD, MPH — University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus Bernard Silvernail — The Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices Acknowledgements The Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices — Sponsoring Organization Jane Macoubrie, Ph.D. — Survey originator Jo Ann LeQuang — Medical Writer Limitations SOURCE: Experiences with benzodiazepine use, tapering, and discontinuation: an Internet survey This study has several limitations. The study reported on ‘suicidal thoughts’, which can range from fleeting notions of self-harm to passive desperation, preparatory planning, and disinhibition. Suicidal thoughts may be underreported, even in an anonymous online survey, as respondents might hesitate or be embarrassed to report self-destructive thoughts. There was no control group. Much of the survey dealt with symptoms presented in multiple-choice lists, and it is possible that patients may have been suggestible to the list presented, may not have correctly remembered past symptoms, or may incorrectly attribute certain symptoms or feelings to benzodiazepines. We did not account for a nocebo effect. The large number of write-in comments suggests that many respondents felt the survey did not allow them to fully describe the extent of their experiences and emotions. Another limitation of our survey is that it recruited respondents from social media and online sources that deal with benzodiazepine use and withdrawal. Respondents were self-selected, forming a convenience sample that may not represent the population of benzodiazepine users as a whole because visitors may have sought sites such as these specifically because they have experienced problems. Moreover, those who use the Internet for health information tend to be younger, and those who join online support groups for medical conditions tend to be in generally worse health. Our results thus may not be generalizable to the population of all people taking benzodiazepines. Data Analysis A medical statistician produced the initial results of this survey utilizing SAS Software. Subsequent data analysis was performed in greater detail by an experienced data scientist who imported the survey data into a custom SQL Server data model. Customized queries were employed to obtain correlations among the data. In particular, this analysis examined conditions for which benzodiazepines were prescribed and compared them to symptoms and adverse life effects reported by patients who were tapering or had discontinued benzodiazepine use. All analyses were delivered via a structured reporting process and validated against the original SAS reports. The survey was made available online through websites and internet benzodiazepine support groups and general health and wellness groups. The data scientist mentioned above is D E Foster, who is also the author of this blog series and the founder of Easing Anxiety. D has been a member of the Benzodiazepine Survey Research Team since 2019, providing general benzodiazepine knowledge and lived-experience in addition to formal data analysis and reporting. Prior to his withdrawal from benzodiazepines, D worked as a database developer and data scientist for over 25 years. For Informational Purposes Only All information presented on Easing Anxiety is for informational purposes only, and should never be considered medical or health advice. Withdrawal, tapering, or any change in dosage of benzodiazepines or any other prescription drugs should only be done under the direct supervision of a licensed physician. This article was written by a living, breathing, human person. Please read our site disclaimer for more information.

"[Xanax] may be less effective than clinicians and scientists have been led to believe, based on publications in medical journals," according to a recent article in Neuroscience News. The article was based on research originally published in Psychological Medicine titled, "Unpublished trials of alprazolam XR and their influence on its apparent efficacy for panic disorder." The study tested for publication bias with alprazolam (Xanax) by comparing efficacy for panic disorder using results from published literature and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Publication bias might have overstated the drug's effectiveness by over 40% — Erik Robinson, Neuroscience News The researchers reviewed publicly available FDA data from phase 2 and phase 3 clinical trials conducted for extended-release alprazolam (Xanax XR) for the treatment of panic disorder. Of the five trials that were conducted for the FDA review, only one showed a positive outcome. According to Robinson, "Of the four not-positive trials, two were published conveying a positive outcome; the other two were not published." Our study throws some cold water on the efficacy of this drug. It shows it may be less effective than people have assumed. — Erick Turner, MD, senior author of the study This article and study reveal the all too common practice of cherry-picking studies and massaging their conclusions to gain FDA approval for a new drug. A practice that has left millions dealing with the life-altering after effects of poorly tested medications. And a practice that continues to this day. References Ahn-Horst, R., & Turner, E. (2023). Unpublished trials of alprazolam XR and their influence on its apparent efficacy for panic disorder (Abstract Only). Psychological Medicine, 1-8. doi:10.1017/S0033291723002830. https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/psychological-medicine/article/unpublished-trials-of-alprazolam-xr-and-their-influence-on-its-apparent-efficacy-for-panic-disorder/B118AF52F7402C1A081822CF57E424D9. Robinson, Erik. Xanax's Efficacy Questioned. Neuroscience News. October 19, 2023. Accessed October 21, 2023. https://neurosciencenews.com/xanaxs-efficacy-anxiety-24967/. For Informational Purposes Only All information presented on Easing Anxiety is for informational purposes only, and should never be considered medical or health advice. Withdrawal, tapering, or any change in dosage of benzodiazepines or any other prescription drugs should only be done under the direct supervision of a licensed physician. This article was written by a living, breathing, human person. Please read our site disclaimer for more information.

I'd like to apologize. Big surprise, huh? Yes, I have heard it a hundred times from a hundred people: "stop apologizing." I do it a lot, and I'm sure it annoys some people. Sorry about that. Perhaps it's low self-esteem, or the coping mechanism of a chronic conflict-avoider, or even the desperate pleas of an eternal outsider just dying to fit in. Then again, maybe it's just an affectation of my conversational style. In the end, it all boils down to this. Two of the most common words from my mouth are, "I'm sorry." And I'm guessing I'm not the only one. Apologizing and anxiety go hand in hand. When you worry about what you said or didn't say, or about what you did or didn't do, or about being late or early or rude or insensitive or selfish or inadequate or forgetful, those of us with anxiety, apologize. But those aren't the only reasons we do it, and that is why this topic is a bit more complex than it seems. I've beaten myself up about this many times. I've even had a few counselors try and help me change. But, it didn't do much good. Sometimes I say it to apologize, sometimes to comfort, and sometimes because I don't know how else to start a sentence. And maybe, just maybe, that's okay. The Problem with Apologizing Apologizing can be a good thing and can be a sign of empathy towards others. But over-apologizing can be harmful. In a Forbes article by Jay Rai, the author said that "Over-apologizing is a common symptom amongst individuals with low self-esteem, fear of conflict and a fear of what others think. He added that "this goes hand in hand with poor boundaries, perhaps accepting blame for things we didn’t do or couldn’t control." Leading off sentences with "I'm sorry..." often shows that "you're subconsciously seeking reassurance." He said that you are also "sending a message to those you're speaking to that often undermine the validity of your statements or implies lack of confidence in expressing yourself or asserting your own needs." Over-apologizing isn’t so different from over-complimenting: You may think you’re displaying yourself as a nice and caring person, but you’re actually sending the message that you lack confidence and are ineffectual. — Beverly Engel, Psychotherapist In the Forbes article, Rai suggests alternatives to leading off with "I'm sorry," such as: Thank you for your patience... Do you have a moment? I am unable to attend this meeting These are my initial thoughts... I have a different take that I'd love to share. According to the majority of articles that I found on over-apologizing, this is a common opinion, and working on reducing this is a positive step forward. But then again, not everyone agrees. Is Apologizing Really That Bad? A Washington Post article titled "Can you apologize too much?" contradicts some of the more commonly held beliefs around apologizing. Scientific evidence suggests that you should never have to say you’re sorry, for saying sorry. — Teddy Amenabar, Washington Post A study from researchers at Harvard Business School and the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania found that leading a conversation with "I'm sorry" may actually help to build trust. In this study, a man asked dozens of individuals waiting at a rainy train station to borrow their cellphone. Almost all of them — 91 percent — turned him down. But then he tried it again leading off each conversation with "I'm sorry about the rain..." Almost half of the responses were now positive, and they handed over their cell phones. Alison Wood Brooks, associate professor at Harvard Business School, explained why this might happen. “A superfluous apology isn’t about blame. It’s an acknowledgment of someone else’s suffering, essentially, even if it’s incredibly minor.” She suggested that it is far more common for individuals to not apologize enough, than over-apologize. Apologizing is a natural part of our language, and the idea of over-apologizing is subjective. — Deborah Tannen, Professor of Linguistics at Georgetown University People who apologize more often are usually less narcissistic and have more empathy to others. They are frequently seen by others as more friendly, even more moral. Do Women Apologize More Than Men? The simple answer is here is "yes." But the reasons of this — and results from it — may not be so straightforward. According to an article in Psychology Today, "research shows that women tend to say sorry more than men." Possible causes may include lack of self-confidence and socialization. Apologizing may be viewed as a a sign of inexperience, insincerity, and can be a hinderance in negotiating. Basically, over-apologizing has been viewed by many as a limitation to success in the workplace. This is why many articles have been written encouraging women to find alternatives to saying "I'm sorry." There's been a push in recent years, especially among women, to apologize less. — Kristin Wong, The New York Times But, this topic is also a bit more complex than it first seems. "Women do apologize slightly more than men on average," said Karina Schumann, associate professor of psychology at the University of Pittsburgh. "But that’s probably because women are more likely to notice that a given behavior may be offensive and, therefore, more deserving of an apology." Schumann went on to state that men apologize just as often as women when they perceive they've done something wrong and that the gender gap regarding apologizing is not nearly as large as people think it is. According to Dr. Schumann, men rated offenses as less severe and less deserving of an apology than women. "Men apologize less often because they are less likely to think they've offended anyone." And as we mentioned above, even though there are detrimental effects of apologizing often, there are also benefits. Women — and men — who apologize are seen as more friendly and less threatening, and thus included more often in business and social settings. They are also considered more trustworthy than their less apologetic colleagues. In addition, apologies can mean many things. According to a New York Times article by Kristin Wong, "words are defined in how they're used and an apology is used in many different ways." It can be used to help repair a relationship, to show respect, or even just to smooth out a conversation. Many times an "I'm sorry" doesn't really mean, "I'm sorry." Finding a Balance If over-apologizing is a hurdle for you and you wish to reduce how often you say "I'm sorry," then do so. But, don't get carried away. And don't let the stigma of over-apologizing affect how you feel about yourself. As almost everything in life, there are pros and cons to apologizing. Find the balance that is right for you. As for me, I'm learning to accept myself as I am. I'm 57 and even though I might use "I'm sorry" a bit less now and then, I'm going to stop apologizing for... well...apologizing. See you next time. References Amenabar, Teddy. Can you apologize too much? Sorry, but read this to find out. Washington Post. April 6, 2023. Accessed October 17, 2023. https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2023/04/06/saying-sorry-apologize-too-much/. Rai, Jay. Why Over-Apologizing Can Destroy Your Confidence At Work (And How To Avoid It). Forbes. May 4, 2021. Accessed October 18, 2023. https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2021/05/04/why-over-apologizing-can-destroy-your-confidence-at-work-and-how-to-avoid-it. Rettner, Rachael. Study Reveals Why Women Apologize So Much. Live Science. September 27, 2010. Accessed October 18, 2023. https://www.livescience.com/8698-study-reveals-women-apologize.html. Wilding, Melody. How to Stop Over-Apologizing. Psychology Today. October 7, 2021. Accessed October 18, 2023. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/trust-yourself/202110/how-stop-over-apologizing. Wong, Kristin. No, You Don't Have to Stop Apologizing. The New York Times. April 22, 2019. Accessed October 18, 2023. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/22/smarter-living/no-you-dont-have-to-stop-apologizing.html. For Informational Purposes Only All information presented on Easing Anxiety is for informational purposes only, and should never be considered medical or health advice. Withdrawal, tapering, or any change in dosage of benzodiazepines or any other prescription drugs should only be done under the direct supervision of a licensed physician. This article was written by a living, breathing, human person. Please read our site disclaimer for more information.

The Benzodiazepine Action Work Group (BAWG) has announced six newly scheduled classes for the course "Recovering from Benzodiazepines for Peer Support" starting this November. While four of these initial classes are limited to Colorado residents, two non-Colorado classes have also been announced. We plan to offer a total of 10 new classes between now and July 2024. To register and learn more about this training please visit: BenzoPeerTraining.org About the Class This 12-hour training course is designed to educate peers, counselors, caregivers and providers on specialized information regarding benzodiazepine use, its associated complications such as withdrawal and benzodiazepine-induced neurological dysfunction (BIND) , and how to support the individual as they taper, heal, and find wellness. This course was developed by the Benzodiazepine Action Work Group (BAWG) in conjunction with members of Easing Anxiety, the Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices, Benzodiazepine Information Coalition, the Schreiber Research Group, and Benzo Warrior. It is certified for 12 CE credits with COPA/CPFS in Colorado and is designed to meet state certification requirements for peer support professionals across the nation. The cost for these classes is kept low via support from BAWG and the Colorado Consortium for Prescription Drug Abuse Prevention. Standard course fee is $125, but a discounted registration fee of $90 is available for those registering early. Schedule There are currently six scheduled classes on the calendar as follows. Each will be held virtually. More classes will be added over the coming months. CURRENTLY SCHEDULED CLASSES 2023 Colorado - November 7 & 14 - SOLD OUT! Instructors: D E Foster (Easing Anxiety) / Ginger Roos (Choices Training) 2024 Colorado - January 23 & 30 - Registration Now Open Instructors: Terri Schreiber (The Schreiber Research Group) / TBD (Choices Training) New Hampshire - February 20 & 27 NATIONAL (open to all) - March 12 & 19 Colorado - April 23 & 30 Colorado - June 4 & 11 For More Information For more information please visit: BenzoPeerTraining.org.

Welcome back to the Easing Anxiety blog series, "What We Learned from the Benzo Survey," where we dive deep into the data from the Benzodiazepine Survey of 2018/2019 to learn more about benzos, BIND, and the individuals who have taken these medications. In our first few posts in this series, we explored age groups, gender, country, and drug type. Today, we look at a single, simple question from the survey: "Were you warned?" Were you warned about the dangers and complications associated with benzodiazepine use? The results of the survey are quite clear on this topic, and it backs what many of us have been saying for some time. *** Scroll to the end of this post for details about the survey and research team. *** WERE YOU WARNED? According to the survey, only 6.1% of respondents were clearly warned that benzodiazepines should be only taken for a short time, or that they are difficult to withdraw from? Another 7.9% were warned, but not sufficiently. More than 3 out of every 4 respondents (76.2%) were "definitely not warned" about the dangers of taking benzodiazepines. Question (n=1,207): Were you warned that benzodiazepines should only be taken for short times, or that they are difficult to withdraw from? This data backs the anecdotal experiences shared by most of us in the benzodiazepine support field. The most common complaints many of us hear from the individuals we work with is that they were not warned or were tapered too quickly. Many even claim that they were met with annoyance, disdain, and disbelief from their own doctors. Doctors love prescribing benzos because it's the most efficient way to get a complaining patient out of the office in the shortest possible time... 90 percent of benzo prescriptions are written, often carelessly, by primary care doctors, who can spend only seven minutes with the patient without giving serious thought to the considerable risk... — Dr. Allen Frances, Professor Emeritus at Duke University, Chairman of the DSM-IV Committee IN THEIR OWN WORDS This survey allowed respondents to provide additional feedback on any topic in an open-ended text box. Many of them took this opportunity to share their frustrations with the prescribing and deprescribing practices of their physicians and/or psychiatrists. Here is a small sample of those responses: My doctor never warned me of what benzodiazepines could do to my body. He's still trying to prescribe me more. I had been taking .5 mg of clonazepam for 4 years, completely unaware that it was a benzo and a very dangerous drug. I wish I knew more before I began the taper a year ago, but my doctor didn't warn me, and I had no reason to research it since I've gone off of medications before without difficulty. Am so frustrated and disappointed that we were not given correct warnings on these meds. From my first dose on a benzodiazepine, I had adverse effects. My doctors did not recognize the medication to be the cause and actually diagnosed me with anxiety because my seizures were non-epileptic. I wasn't warned about benzo use by my doctor until I was having difficulty discontinuing use. My doctor cut me off without warning. They don't have a clue how to treat the after effects. Also, went to emergency room within days of being discontinued and was "locked down" in mental health unit for 9 days... Was given gabapentin, phenobarbital, and finally 5 mgs of valium once nightly during last 3 days of stay. I went to 37 doctors looking for answers for my declining health. Even went to the Mayo Clinic. Not one doctor recognized that I had hit benzo tolerance. When I started tapering, not one recognized the withdrawal symptoms. Asked my doctor flat out if Xanax is addictive. He said no and continued to prescribe them at increased doses for 20 years. My doctor, a trusted psychiatrist, told me my body needed this, like a diabetic needs insulin, and promised me it was not addictive. I believed him, and never abused the RX, but hit tolerance in 2015, still struggling over 3 years later, no one has ever told me about tolerance, all Drs have told me I am mentally ill. Doctor had no knowledge how to detox me and never warned me that lorazepam was for short-term use and kept me on it for eight years and then stopped refills he said due to FDA coming down on doctors . Pharmacist helped me detox in six month taper. Please warn doctors to only prescribe benzos for a short period of time. No benzo should be prescribed long-term. When I was put on Xanax my kids decided I was "nuts". This led to them throwing me and my husband out of their respective homes over time. I have no relationship with my children anymore and if something happens to my husband I really have no one — I have no reason to live. I trusted the doctor that prescribed this — he is not my doctor anymore. Unfortunately, I have had over 10 different doctors and NONE of them told me Xanax was bad! WHAT CAN BE DONE? The data from this survey backs what has been clear to most benzo organizers and advocates for many years; that many medical professionals are not properly educated on benzodiazepine prescribing, deprescribing, and the lasting effects of protracted withdrawal, or BIND. The good news is that there are several organizations working towards fixing this problem. In addition to Easing Anxiety, other groups such as the Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices and Benzodiazepine Information Coalition (BIC) have made great strides in the area of medical education. Another group —which I have had the pleasure of co-chairing for the past few years — is the Benzodiazepine Action Workgroup (BAWG). In addition to ongoing research involvement and developing the first national Peer Support Training Program specific to benzodiazepines, this group provides continuing medication education (CME) courses and evidence-based PDF documentation on prescribing, deprescribing, and peer support free and available to all on its website. While this is a long and arduous uphill battle, progress is being made on many fronts and I personally want to thank all of those individuals who have been involved in helping improve the medical establishment's treatment of benzodiazepine-affected individuals. References ORGANIZATIONS The Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices — https://benzoreform.org Benzodiazepine Action Work Group (BAWG) — https://benzoaction.org Benzodiazepine Information Coalition (BIC) — https://benzoinfo.com Easing Anxiety — https://easinganxiety.com DOCUMENTATION & PROGRAMS BAWG Guidance Documentation (Prescribing, Deprescribing, Peer Support) — https://www.easinganxiety.com/post/benzodiazepine-guidance-from-bawg BAWG Peer Support Training Program — https://benzopeertraining.org Benzodiazepine-Induced Neurological Dysfunction (BIND) — https://easinganxiety.com/BIND RESOURCES Frances, Allen. Yes, Benzos Are Bad for You. Originally published in Pro Talk: A Rehabs.com Community, June 10, 2016. Accessed October 13, 2016. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/saving-normal/201607/yes-benzos-are-bad-you. Survey papers are listed below. About the Benzodiazepine Survey About the Research The largest survey of its kind, "The Benzodiazepine Survey of 2018/2019" was created and administered by Jane Macoubrie, PhD and Christy Huff, MD. Over 1,600 individuals took the survey, resulting in 1,207 qualified respondents. The survey constituted 20 questions, including demographic inquires. Some of these questions had multiple sub-questions and/or allowed multiple answers. The survey generated three published research papers in scientific journals (as noted below) between April 25, 2022 and June 29, 2023. The research team is still together working on new benzodiazepine-related research projects. Special thanks to the Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices for sponsoring and organizing this research. Published Papers PAPER 1 — April 25, 2022 Finlayson AJ, Macoubrie J, Huff C, Foster DE, Martin PR. Experiences with benzodiazepine use, tapering, and discontinuation: an Internet survey. Therapeutic Advances in Psychopharmacology. 2022;12. doi:10.1177/20451253221082386. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/20451253221082386. PAPER 2 — February 6, 2023 Huff C, Finlayson AJR, Foster DE, Martin PR. Enduring neurological sequelae of benzodiazepine use: an Internet survey. Therapeutic Advances in Psychopharmacology. 2023;13. doi:10.1177/20451253221145561. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/20451253221145561. PAPER 3 — June 29, 2023 Ritvo AD, Foster DE, Huff C, Finlayson AJR, Silvernail B, Martin PR. (2023) Long-term consequences of benzodiazepine-induced neurological dysfunction: A survey. PLOS ONE 18(6): e0285584. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0285584. Research Team Research Team / Authors (alphabetical) A. J. Reid Finlayson, MD, MMHC — Vanderbilt University Medical Center D E Foster — Benzodiazepine Action Work Group Christy Huff, MD — Benzodiazepine Information Coalition Peter R. Martin, MD, MSc — Vanderbilt University Medical Center Alexis Ritvo, MD, MPH — University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus Bernard Silvernail — The Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices Acknowledgements The Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices — Sponsoring Organization Jane Macoubrie, Ph.D. — Survey originator Jo Ann LeQuang — Medical Writer Limitations SOURCE: Experiences with benzodiazepine use, tapering, and discontinuation: an Internet survey This study has several limitations. The study reported on ‘suicidal thoughts’, which can range from fleeting notions of self-harm to passive desperation, preparatory planning, and disinhibition. Suicidal thoughts may be underreported, even in an anonymous online survey, as respondents might hesitate or be embarrassed to report self-destructive thoughts. There was no control group. Much of the survey dealt with symptoms presented in multiple-choice lists, and it is possible that patients may have been suggestible to the list presented, may not have correctly remembered past symptoms, or may incorrectly attribute certain symptoms or feelings to benzodiazepines. We did not account for a nocebo effect. The large number of write-in comments suggests that many respondents felt the survey did not allow them to fully describe the extent of their experiences and emotions. Another limitation of our survey is that it recruited respondents from social media and online sources that deal with benzodiazepine use and withdrawal. Respondents were self-selected, forming a convenience sample that may not represent the population of benzodiazepine users as a whole because visitors may have sought sites such as these specifically because they have experienced problems. Moreover, those who use the Internet for health information tend to be younger, and those who join online support groups for medical conditions tend to be in generally worse health. Our results thus may not be generalizable to the population of all people taking benzodiazepines. Data Analysis A medical statistician produced the initial results of this survey utilizing SAS Software. Subsequent data analysis was performed in greater detail by an experienced data scientist who imported the survey data into a custom SQL Server data model. Customized queries were employed to obtain correlations among the data. In particular, this analysis examined conditions for which benzodiazepines were prescribed and compared them to symptoms and adverse life effects reported by patients who were tapering or had discontinued benzodiazepine use. All analyses were delivered via a structured reporting process and validated against the original SAS reports. The survey was made available online through websites and internet benzodiazepine support groups and general health and wellness groups. The data scientist mentioned above is D E Foster, who is also the author of this blog series and the founder of Easing Anxiety. D has been a member of the Benzodiazepine Survey Research Team since 2019, providing general benzodiazepine knowledge and lived-experience in addition to formal data analysis and reporting. Prior to his withdrawal from benzodiazepines, D worked as a database developer and data scientist for over 25 years. For Informational Purposes Only All information presented on Easing Anxiety is for informational purposes only, and should never be considered medical or health advice. Withdrawal, tapering, or any change in dosage of benzodiazepines or any other prescription drugs should only be done under the direct supervision of a licensed physician. This article was written by a living, breathing, human person. Please read our site disclaimer for more information.

Just this month, I’ve had a huge awakening. I struggle with anxiety. And, I feel shame about it. I don’t want to let people in my life know about it, although my husband sure knows its there. When my friends ask me how I am, I’d never consider saying “I am wrestling with anxiety.” Why? A change in identity I have fibromyalgia and have wrestled with chronic pain for more years than I can remember. Like many people with fibromyalgia — especially if I am having a flare-up — I am sensitive to smells, noises, and tastes. I can hear a person tapping on the desk with fingertips or smell a tuna sandwich across the room. I often felt irritable with the smallest environmental changes like smell, taste, or sounds. Headaches were a part of my personal experience too. I took fibromyalgia in as a part of my identity: I recognize it and even embrace it. I never feel shame. In fact, I was prescribed benzodiazepines for fibromyalgia — and most of you know the problems with benzodiazepines. What I understood about myself is that I had a pain issue, not an anxiety issue. Well, I’ve tapered off of Klonipin (clonazepam) and I’ve been off for two years now. In so many ways, I am much better. Certainly better than when I was tapering. And I have discovered — maybe I have always wondered — that I am dealing with anxiety. Here I am owning the fact that I experience anxiety often, sometimes daily. It is uncomfortable. It can be gnawing. I feel it in my solar plexus. By owning this, it now means I can address the reasons that I often feel edgy, impatient, worried, and easy to cry. If I can't identify the reasons, then I am committed to finding ways to eliminate it or cope with it. I have some questions How does my identity change when I say I have anxiety? Why am I worried about being judged about anxiety? Does it make me “less than?” Why do I feel ashamed? I didn’t choose to feel such anxiety or behave in a way I regret. In the same way I didn’t choose how tall I am, I didn’t choose anxiety. The truth is, I'm in good company. 40 million other adults share this same type of experience every year. (https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/facts-statistics). These are the questions I am wrestling with and hope to explore on Easing Anxiety. I want to develop a different relationship with anxiety. I am challenging myself to be: Curious about it Understand it Embrace it Instead of being ashamed, I want to hear this: “ Vulnerability is not a weakness. Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage” — Brene Brown, Listening to Shame, 2012 Ted Talk My hope is that I can be courageous. As always, let us know what you think. References Anxiety Disorders - Facts & Statistics. Anxiety and Depression Society of America. https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/facts-statistics. Brown, Brene. Listening to Shame. TED Talk. 2012. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0 For Informational Purposes Only All information presented on Easing Anxiety is for informational purposes only, and should never be considered medical or health advice. Withdrawal, tapering, or any change in dosage of benzodiazepines or any other prescription drugs should only be done under the direct supervision of a licensed physician. This article was written by a living, breathing human. Please read our site disclaimer for more information.